Be able to communicate effectively with other people requires special abilities among which we highlight the following eight.

1. Understand people

People not only come in all kinds of shapes and sizes, but also with different personalities. You will surely want to brush up on your knowledge of how to communicate with the four main types of personalities by reading this article.

By the way communication students or people interested in improving their communication skills should read Bem Allen's excellent book: 'Personality Theories' which is an excellent introduction to personality types.

People are individuals with as many similarities as differences. To communicate more effectively, each personality type requires a different style, using its own language, its gestures, its rhythm and intonation.

So how do you find out the best way to communicate with someone? Spend a little time on it! Don't expect to meet someone on the street and be able to chat intimately at the minute. Understanding a subject takes time - whether it is an academic subject or another human being.

2. Express your thoughts and feelings clearly

We are bombarded with messages every second of the day, so to compete with that barrage of “noise” that each person faces, your message has to be clear, succinct and straight to the point.

It is worth taking the time to plan the communication, regardless of the method chosen to send it, to ensure that you take the least amount of time to express your idea in the most responsive and simple way possible.

3. Say what you think when your needs are not met

Saying what you think to ensure your needs are met is a fundamental part of a relationship, be it business or personal.

You may have wanted to read about assertive, non-aggressive communications in this article, but in short, there are six different ways to be assertive without being aggressive: by rehearsing your pre-communication behavior; repeating their communication (the "broken record" technique); applying the nebula technique; asking for negative feedback; making a tentative agreement with negative feedback and promoting a workable compromise.

Assertiveness is a very useful communication tool depending on the context, but it is not appropriate in all situations. Remember, the unforeseen use of assertiveness can be perceived as aggressive behavior by the other party.

4. Ask for feedback from others and in turn give it

In addition to the assertiveness technique, giving and receiving feedback is a key communication skill that must be learned if you want to be able to develop long-range relationships.

Toastmasters International teaches a very useful technique for giving feedback and critical review - make a sincere compliment first, followed by practical suggestions for improvement, and then finish with another sincere compliment. This is known as 'CRC', or 'Fulfilled, Recommendation, Fulfilled',an excellent three-step model for giving feedback from quality.

As well remember that sincerity is a subjective matter. What you may find unpleasant in a person may be just as desirable from another point of view. What I have learned, having experienced a series of IRA atrocities in England and seeing political and media reactions in the US, is that what for one person is a terrorist, for another person is a fighter for freedom.

5. Influence the way of thinking and acting of other people

We all have a chance to influence the way others think and act. Whether we apply Cialdini's principles of persuasion (from one extreme to the other) or simply violence (verbal or physical), every day we have the possibility to shape the thoughts or actions of the people around us.

There are many ways to lead or delineate the required behaviors and attitudes. From something as simple as smiling and saying "Hello!" as a way of influencing the other person's mood, even leading by example during an intense period of change.

Remember that a posture leads to an emotion, which in turn leads to the action. From shape attitudes and you will have a more reliable way of predicting actions.

6. Bring conflicts to light and resolve them

I confess: Dealing with conflictive situations is not a 'natural' thing for me. I started a family with a woman who already had 3 children. It took me 3 years of living together to realize that it is possible to co-exist with a conflict and not get personally involved. But this was not an easy lesson to learn, I guarantee it!

But being the stepfather of teenage boys helped me learn the importance of bringing conflict and resentment to the surface where it can be handled more easily.

Your employees may be harboring secret grudges against you, and unless you find out what it's all about, you bring those "dark secrets" into the light of day, you can never successfully handle them.

It requires a high level of patience, not taking the defensive directly, but giving people the opportunity to express their concerns, disappointments, and anger face to face; It gives you a tremendous opportunity to put things in place or help them see when their thoughts or feelings are out of place.

7. Collaborate with others instead of doing everything alone

I am very insistent on this but learning to delegate and share It has been a fundamental piece in the growth of my own business.

The quickest way to bury yourself in excessive detail and be overloaded is to try to do everything yourself. Sharing the workload can be one of the smartest things to do. I explain why: Leverage.

Leverage is making use of your abilities and skills and allowing others to magnify your work potential. You train them to do what you do and you do something else.

A bricklayer can lay a certain number of bricks per hour, but that same bricklayer can train 15 colleagues to lay bricks and suddenly those 15 bricklayers are building a work while the first bricklayer is getting more work for everyone.

While those 15 are working on building the site, the former may be learning more advanced construction techniques or sales strategies or supervisory skills.

The lesson is simple: try to do it all by yourself and soon you will find yourself buried in things to do; teach others and you will build a great work.

8. Make a change when the relationship is not productive

Sometimes it is necessary to get away. Sometimes you need to remove damaging charges. And sometimes it is necessary to take drastic steps to regain balance and momentum.

'Making a change' can sometimes be as simple as changing the location of a meeting if it takes place in a dark office at the café in the corner. TO Sometimes it is a matter of changing the meeting schedule and, instead of having it just after eating, passing it first thing the next morning, when fresh and clear heads may prevail.

Sometimes it can mean having to increase the level of assertiveness to ensure that what you want to say is received. Sometimes it may mean including others in the meeting so that the person understands the implications of their attitudes and actions. And sometimes it will involve helping them find a more meaningful and fulfilling role outside of their sphere of influence.

In my professional performance as a psychologist working with companies, I clearly remember an organization where I was consulting: the only way out of the deadlock that had been reached with the staff was to remove the obstacles to progress. Which involved helping key players find other jobs outside of the organization. A Sometimes cultural change can only be done quickly by bringing in a new team and discarding dead wood. But only as a last resort.


La ability to deal with people it has to do with bringing out, in each situation, the best of the others instead of the worst. Mastering these 8 essential skills for dealing with people will dramatically increase your chances of achieving the best results from your interaction and business challenges.

When consumer psychology is combined with an effective communication style, a powerful combination is obtained.

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I am a dreamer and in my dreams I believe that a better world is possible, that no one knows more than anyone, we all learn from everyone. I love gastronomy, numbers, teaching and sharing all the little I know, because by sharing I also learn. "Let's all go together from foundation to success"
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